Rebellion

The following is the chapter from the novel with no name that I began writing when I was about 17 years old. A quarter of a century later it is still in development, with a caveat that some ten years ago I realized that people and events from my writings manifested in my experience in one way or another, and yes – there have been some amazing correspondences. The cyberpunk elements were inspired by reading William Gibson’s work, there are bits inspired by Dostoevsky, Frank Herbert and many others. There never was an overall plan for the novel and its plot, neither an intention to create a literary work I would ever release to the public – it was just fiction, because I had fun with it, nothing more. After realizing the power that imagination and fiction writing has on manifesting, I established a clear direction for my characters towards maturation, liberation and wisdom, and away from lifestyle imposed by the establishment and unconscious living. I decided to post some parts of it that readers could relate to and possibly get some value out of, as the main storyline is very similar to what humanity is experiencing on Earth at this time, even though it was envisioned as happening on a different, fictional planets, with interplanetary travel and civilizations at different stages of development. This seems like good evidence that it’s not people that possess ideas, but rather it’s the ideas that possess the people, who give them life through attention and consideration. The ideas I explored in my writings were out there to begin with, I just picked up on them and explored them. It is no wonder that we collectively are experiencing these ideas as manifested reality, after we’ve been familiarized with them through works of fiction.

There are only three characters in this chapter. Luna and Kinato are a married couple belonging to upper class, even possessing titles of nobility. They are involved with a secret organization they refer to as “clan” and Kinato’s work as creative director was utilized by the establishment to shape the presentation of narrative through the media to allow the controlling class to exert ever more control over population. They meet with Dahlia, a woman with extensive psychic abilities, who helped them previously. Perhaps Dahlia came about through desire for guidance, and maybe the higher aspects of being speak through her, so that in this way I am helping myself find a way to resolve issues and deal with these crazy times of deception, degradation, polarization and general insanity. This could also serve as an example of what you can do for yourself, dear reader. Engage imagination and let the narrative flow through!


– Rebellion has begun – Luna heard Kinato say in a quiet voice right behind her, giving her shivers.
– Rebellion? – she turned around and saw him holding his phone in one hand and a glass of purple cocktail in the other.
– Yes, a few protests and some rioting in the streets, escalating quickly.
– What does that mean, Ki? What is going on?
– It seems to me that propaganda is loosing traction. Or the basic conveniences of life are becoming less readily available.
– Are you going to be in trouble for that?
– Nah… I don’t come up with the ridiculous narrative, and have absolutely nothing to do with supply chain logistics. I just implement the propaganda. Clan is aware that this kind of charade can’t go on for too long, so a different strategy will come into play before the confidence is lost. You can’t silence everyone, and not everyone is blindly obeying. People can see that the things don’t add up with what they’re being told. However, most people’s beliefs, values and understanding of reality are based on fabrications which the infiltrated institutions instilled in them, and challenging those beliefs is not something many would dare to do. It’s easier to just go along. And, well… I guess this is just the beginning, and we shall see where it all goes.
– I’ll look at the news – Luna grabbed her phone.
– What for? The riots aren’t reported on the news. Media lies by omission. People are waking up, because it’s becoming obvious that the whole narrative coming from the media is a hoax. News tells you one thing, you look outside your window and see the opposite.
– Did you know all along that it was a hoax?
– Well… yes and no. I knew that many of the crises were fabricated to large extent to keep people on the edge, but as always, I’ve been kept too busy to do my own research and find out what is really going on. Was it all fake? I couldn’t tell you.
– So would you say you got fooled like everyone else? Just a cog in a machine?
– An important fucking cog! – Kinato’s snicker betrayed defeat.
– Are we in any danger?
– From rioters? Or from the clan? Or from unseen forces? Lou, I have no idea. If it makes you feel better, I’ve received no threats and even though this shit is happening, I’m still in good standing. In fact, I just came from the meeting and most people there got bigger fish to fry right now than evaluate my contribution, which was up to par with their requests any damn way.
– Well, Ki… this is all good. I am happy that people are waking up. It’s about damn time! Yet, I can’t help but notice that all that’s supposedly going on in the world around us is like a background story, isn’t it?
– Yes, it all seems very unreal, like it’s just a story playing out. Maybe it seems like a movie because we only know about it by looking at the screens.
– It does seem that way. How funny that in truth we have no idea what is really going on. We’re merely assuming and speculating. You work with so much data gathered through various kinds of surveillance, statistics, reports and so on, but those things aren’t experienced by anyone, no generalities are. To the intellect, all that is data it can use to form an image of the world and pretend to understand it, and know what is going on. Yet most of human experience is never reported on. There may not even be such a thing as outside, objective world, don’t you think?
– Whatever the case may be, we have to keep going. I may have to work extra hours now that we got this situation… to remedy it somehow. It even occurred to me… – and he got really close to Luna, making sure his pocket computer was away on the other couch, and threw hers there as well, and then whispered: – I thought of interjecting in some credible information too, to let people know what’s going on. Because the next step is to have everyone controlled by the artificial intelligence driven system. The algorithms already play such a large part in determining what people consume. This has nothing to do with national borders, this is happening throughout all the worlds, you see? Total control of all population. And not just that, but the implanted chips will be necessary to participate in society. It sickens me, I did not sign up for that, and I cannot let it happen. It will affect us too, for we need to be controlled, especially us, that are in high enough positions and halfway in the know.

Luna just looked at him and blinked a few times. So he is worried after all. And wants to do what he feels is right.
– Would you like to meet with Dahlia? – she asked.
– Why?
– She could tell us what’s around the corner for us. You used her services before, wasn’t she helpful?
– Yeah, the information she gave me was on the money and helpful. But can’t you do it? I’ve got some trust issues at the moment.
– I suppose that with some practice and persistence I could some day get there.
– But you’re not interested – he was still pretty good at reading her, and those observations were now simple remarks, instead of curious questions.
– It’s hard to say what I’m interested in, and why, truth be told… It’s a moment by moment thing. As far as getting information from other dimensions goes… it’s like Theanne was saying, you really need to know what you’re doing, and you can never be sure where information came from and if it can be trusted. There are tricksters there just like there are tricksters here, and we can always be misled. So my focus is on developing trust in intuitive insight, and my hunch tells me that Dahlia would be of help to you specifically.
– Maybe she would beI’ve been trying to see things like you were saying… if it could possibly be that all this is just cosmic entertainment…
– Are you beginning to see your human self as a puppet yet?
– God! – an exclamation in a strange tone of discovery combined with certain amount of disbelief. Then a big hug, something they haven’t done in a while. It’s something quite special: it enlivens long stagnant energies of intermingling love so alive and radiant, that it washed off all the imperfections from their relationship.
– Well, what do you know, Dahlia is willing to meet us – Luna said a bit later, after she exchanged a few messages with Dahlia. – Tonight?
– Sure, I’m done working for today. Where at?
– Let me ask… – and after entering a question, she received a response from Dahlia. – She says let’s meet half way between Lacorta and Letarno, there’s a small motel… Is that fine with you? This is the motel – Luna showed Kinato information about the motel on the screen, including address, menu and reviews.
– Sure, let’s do it.
– We’re being tracked, yeah? – Luna whispered in his ear.
– The spy device is doing it – and she knew he meant the phones they carry. – Doesn’t matter. Let’s just go. I’ll drive, no chauffeur this time. Should we have dinner there?
– Well, looks like it’s a decent place according to reviews, so let’s just give it a try. It will be different atmosphere than what we’re used to for sure.
– Pick the most nondescript clothes you can find. I’ll do the same.

The two of them got ready and left. Kinato drove fast, but not recklessly. Luna spent the trip looking out of the window and listening to Kinato lament about the project he was directed to complete after a debacle with the two guys who were in charge of it previously.
– As you can see, I’m mostly salvaging projects that others couldn’t complete for whatever reason. It’s a delicate matter, because the content has to be believable, to seem legitimate, and to hit the right spot in target audience, so we have to rely on data collected by observing the viewers and have the software run behavior analysis. You have to give some truth to the people, otherwise it becomes suspicious and can be seen through if someone really puts in the effort. That’s especially crucial when the narrative is changing and new beliefs are replacing the old. We’re creatures of habit and changing our minds may require a crisis of some sort. We surely give more truth in works of fiction than news reporting.
– The bullshit isn’t that hard to smell, but then again, it’s been so widespread that people are used to it and do not detect it anymore – she noted. – But what about riots? I haven’t seen anything unusual in Letarno as we were leaving.
– There’s nothing going on in Letarno, because too many people live a good life so they’re not affected by the economic crisis. In Katamen it got violent and there have been a few casualties. I sure hope Dahlia is an ally, because in our circles I could not be open and honest with anyone.
– Most people you deal with… well, me too, but to much lesser extent… they all have accepted to be in the clan, and are going with whatever clan leadership decides. So how can you be open and honest in such environment? There’s no freedom there.
– Absolutely right. The fame and money have been dangled in front of people’s eyes like it’s a ticket to freedom, but in fact it’s the entrance into slavery and control. I don’t know anyone with loads of money and influence who acts independently and in his own volition. Instead, they act in such a way as to avoid the repercussions of disobedience, which means going along with what the people above them on the ladder have dictated. They either repressed better half of their being, or have completely reprogrammed themselves to be these shallow characters that only look to climb up few more rungs on that ladder of power, hoping that would solve all their problems.

The drive became very pleasant as they entered a forest with large domed treetops and lush flora, with many luminous mushrooms growing on the bark of trees and downed logs. There was very little traffic and Luna noticed it and inquired about it.
– Yes, there used to be more traffic – Kinato sighed. – I remember when this road used to be very busy. What happened, you ask? Well, that’s all messed up by the economic measures. It costs a lot more to travel these days, and many have been squeezed out of owning vehicles. It’s not just in Arkonis, it’s happening on Ganium as well. It’s not bad for us, but middle class is slowly disappearing. When you have strong middle class, it means people are able to take care of themselves more readily, they own businesses, and now there’s this push to destroy independent livelihoods and get everyone inside the engineered system of control, where everything anyone has or does is tracked and traced. That’s why people are waking up – their behinds have been set on fire and life just isn’t going as smooth as before, and turmoil is present as these changes are rolling out. The plan is to get people even more desperate, so that they would have nowhere else to turn to, but ask for help from the controllers. At that point, they become completely enslaved and can only get help while they obey.
– Be honest, my dear, are you pleased with such a situation? Or do you care about people’s freedoms?
– I’m certainly not pleased. But I think people need to care about their own freedoms if they want to live free. If they are too scared, they’ll submit and lose the little freedoms they have left. If you were able to find empowering information in public domain, then so can they. Why would they listen to our bullshit? When I look at it that way, it makes me feel a bit better, because what the controllers do is in fact pushing people to empower themselves, or suffer the consequence of their subservience.

Their journey was nearing the end as they came out of the forest, passed over a bridge on a wide, slow river called Medoven, and finally climbed up the hill where the motel was situated another half a mile away from the main road. Kinato was guided by a navigation software, which now told him where to park, and he annoyingly turned it off. The parking was behind the motel building, and one of the few parked cars was Dahlia’s. As soon as they entered the building and stopped in the empty hallway that joined the reception room with elevators and the dining rooms, they saw Dahlia approaching. She greeted them with a warm smile and asked if they would like to have a drink. They both agreed and she told them to follow her as she walked to the table where her few belongings rested on a silky tablecloth. There was another couple sitting by the window overlooking the park, and several businessmen chatted loudly at the table by the bar. Kinato looked around and was glad to notice no familiar faces, which allowed him to relax and forget about the role he was playing in society.
– It’s very nice to see the both of you – Dahlia said when they sat down.
– Great to see you too, and thank you very much for meeting with us. Would you like to have a dinner here? – Kinato asked.
– Not really, but if you two are hungry, by all means order something to eat.
– I am good with just a drink – said Luna. And the waiter came by and took their orders for cocktails and sparkling water, and a coffee for Dahlia.
– Is there something urgent you wanted to talk about? – inquired Dahlia. Kinato was a bit surprised that she had to ask about that. He thought she already knew.
– Sort of. It is not that urgent, but since you said you were available today we didn’t want to delay. Looking for some insights, as it seems like there is going to be some serious turmoil and we’re not sure what’s the best course of action – Kinato explained. – I would also be pleased to give you something in return for your help. Anything you’d like.

Dahlia just smiled and took a sip from her coffee that was just delivered. Her colorfully patterned tunic was waving in the gentle breeze coming in through an open window.
– So you do want some more fortunetelling after all, eh? – she examined his somewhat confused expression and went for another question. – Do you trust me?

Luna had a feeling that the issue of trust came up before, and wondered if Kinato used Dahlia’s services a bit more recently than he has claimed. But that was just a thought, it was dully noted. Observe only, a reminder followed. If she were to decide that her hypothesis is likely to be true, then she’d be missing the reality of what’s actually happening, as that thought alone would bring up many more, all seemingly accurate observations, yet Luna reminded herself that they are all just interpretations of observations based on memories.
– I trust you will be honest, and I trust that you have abilities to obtain information from just about anywhere and from any time.
– And what does that tell you about greater reality?
– It must be much greater than I can perceive.
– And if you too could obtain information the same way?
– I suppose it would seem more accessible that way, but instead I feel like I’m often fumbling in the dark, unsure if I’m even going in the right direction. We’re addicted to getting the info, yeah? Like some military operation – we need the intel on enemy movements. We want to position ourselves to do better job, and that involves knowing what to do. Knowing what to do requires information.
– So you’re truly not taking orders anymore?

Luna was entertained by Dahlia’s approach, yet she knew that Dahlia’s motivation was to help Kinato examine some of his assumptions, and making him uncomfortable was just a side effect from this inquiry and not its purpose.
– You know how to get to the bottom of things very quickly, Dahlia. Yes, I still work for other people, but more and more I am taking matters into my own hands, and setting some limits on what I am willing to do for them.
– And what about you, Luna?
– I was able to turn Prince’s offer down. It was fabulous! – a brief silly grin showed her often hidden playful side. – It gave me lots of strength. He doesn’t own my life, I do. So I’ll do with it as I see fit. Of course, it’s easy to talk about this now that there are no threats, but if I was in a stressful situation, scared and unprepared, anything could happen. It’s still quite easy to lose myself. The scene can still drag me in.

Dahlia nodded, then said:
– Yes, it’s a constant practice, so to speak, to be present to what is and act in wisdom, instead of believing the interpreter, the thinking process. That’s our enemy within… I have a room upstairs. I reckoned that I may not feel like driving back tonight, and we may want to have some privacy so I got a room. It may be more comfortable to sit down in the armchairs and relax. We can get drinks delivered there too.
– Sounds good – said Luna and waved to the waiter. Kinato insisted on paying, and they went to the elevator, climbed to the third floor and entered the room 306. It was medium sized, with a pleasant living room, a large screen and several framed artworks on the walls, and a few vases and pots with decorative plants, two of which were in bloom. There were two armchairs and a couch, and in between was a round glass top coffee table, and a heavy deep blue velvet curtain was separating that room from the bedroom. Dahlia gestured towards the seating and the couple took the armchairs, leaving her the spacious couch stuffed with decorative pillows. She sat in the lotus position, as if all the comfort the couch provides wasn’t needed or desired. She looked intently at Luna then Kinato, back and forth, as if examining what’s in their core by just shifting the point of focus.
– Alright, you two… Do you have any specific questions to start with? – she uttered with a smile.

Luna and Kinato looked at each other. It seemed like they came unprepared, for no question presented itself at this request. Even their desires to know were vague, for there’s too much they did not know, and precious little that they thought they did.
– Then let me ask you this: would you prefer that I do the readings first?
– Sure, that’s a good place to start – Kinato nodded and smiled.
– Let me prep the room and we’ll get started.

She swiftly got up and reached her bag that was hanging on the hook by the large mirror. Out of it she took some crystals, dry herbs, and few other things, and said that she’ll make the place a bit smokey as she’ll burn a herb she called Sage and it will clear out all of the low vibes and make the work easier. The crystals have similar role, but they also strengthen the focus and clear out the cacophony of wireless radio signals used by electronic devices.
– Luna knows that simple things like these objects can be used for certain purposes, and learning about them can be daunting, since this is traditionally shrouded in mystery. It is because the consensus worldview says that only manmade technology can solve our problems and make life easier. In consequence, little by little the knowledge of nature and natural law was eradicated. It was replaced by manmade laws, which, since they are not laws in true sense of the word, they are rather rules imposed by controllers. They have to be enforced and do not work on their own. But when we remove the mystery, we can easily notice how these objects influence our environment and we can use them to our advantage by consciously connecting with them and conveying our intentions. You didn’t know you can communicate with just about anything around you, eh? You got to try it sometime, it will open a whole new world to you – Dahlia said enthusiastically, and lit up an incense stick and fanned the smoke around with a beautifully crafted fan made out of aromatic wood. After five minutes of going around, motioning with her arms and even singing or chanting, she returned to the couch, sat in lotus pose again, and closed her eyes.

Kinato looked at Luna, who had her gaze fixed on Dahlia. He tried to relax, but had some latent stress come up in form of worrisome thoughts that distracted him and made him feel somewhat jittery and unsettled. Luna was able to relax much more readily.
– Would you mind laying down here on the couch? – asked Dahlia, looking at Kinato. – I sense you could use some clearing on energetic level. There’s some nasty imagery embedded in your anu or aura. I see a host of threatening figures all wearing masks and black robes, they’re dancing around you in circles. They are claiming your life-force energy and draining it. Makes sense?

Kinato nodded. He would periodically experience flashbacks from the masquerade orgy night, and he knew that something happened then and that since that night things just weren’t quite the same. He would feel more negativity and it was even harder for him to get a good night’s sleep.
– Do you know how those things got there? – Kinato asked, as he stood up and walked to the couch.
– Looks like they’ve been installed there with your permission.
– They’re my memories. I keep having flashbacks. And they disturb me…
– It could be an experience that has something to teach you. If you process it well, you will be able to get through it, resolve some inner issue, let it go and move on. See, what I do can be tricky. I can sometimes reveal too much and spoil the opportunity for you to figure it out on your own. I wish that you do not act on any information I give you, just because you believe that it’s coming from reliable source. Got it?
– Yes, ma’m.
– You need to feel what the right thing to do is. Otherwise, you will act out of fear and even if it seems like you are making a safer bet, it is more than likely that your action will work against you in the long run. Luna, dear… if you have a trusted device with you, it may be good idea to record the session, so that Kinato can review it later, okay?
– I do have my phone, it should be secure. I’ll turn on voice recording and put it here… that should be close enough…
– Alright, now lay down on your back, Kinato… that’s good… you can close your eyes… take a few deep, slow breaths… and feel the waves of relaxation moving through your entire body, from head… all the way down to the toes… breathe… and relax… more and more relaxed with each inhale… and exhale…

Luna watched Dahlia with vivid interest, wishing to know how she operates, what is her process, and what Kinato was experiencing. Dahlia was moving her hands around Kinato’s body, as if feeling it, sensing different areas, and then focusing on his spine, where she performed some elaborate movements, with her eyes closed. It seemed like she pulled something out and threw it in the direction of the large cluster of crystals. Then another similar movement brought about almost tangible disturbance that Luna felt as if whatever came out of Kinato’s energy field dashed right next to her, and it felt very cold. At that moment, Kinato’s body twitched as if zapped with electrical charge. His arm fell off the couch and stayed hanging as if he was hardly aware of his body.
– Oh god… This… This is unbearable.
– What is unbearable, Kinato? – Dahlia gently asked.
– This thought, this feeling… that I am going to loose everything… if I step out of line… my wife… my daughter… my reputation and place in society… everything I worked for… it would all be annihilated…
– All is already annihilated, here’s only your lovely wife, but for you she is gone as well.

Kinato’s body twitched again, and it was clear to Luna that he has been going through something very significant: he was facing his worst fears.
– But… what do you mean? – Kinato still had his eyes closed. – Did something happen to them?
– You are not experiencing them, so for you right now they are gone, as they are most of the time. It doesn’t bother you, does it? What bothers you instead is the thought of losing them. Let’s look at it, shall we? Do you want to get rid of it once and for all?
– Yes! Most certainly, yes…
– Alright, let’s do it. My voice will guide you, so just relax… knowing that you have full control… and can come back at any time… should it ever become too much to bear, you can snap out of it immediately… Remember that… Now… I want you to go a little deeper… we are now in the elevator going down a few more floors. You’re relaxing even more… as you feel elevator moving down… it’s moving us down… deeper… more relaxed… even more relaxed… going down, deeper yet… and deeper… going down… Now… let’s go to the place and time when this belief got created… the belief that you need to obey the will of others to exist and be approved of… Intend to see this… and… see it… look around… what do you see?
– I… I see a… a bed… and night stand… a mirror… this is my room.
– How old are you?
– Seven… seven years old.
– Is there anyone around you?
Kinato deeply sighed and exhaled very slowly.
– My mother… I see her back. She turns slowly towards me… she has something to say. I think I made her upset… very upset… Oh my…
– What is she saying?
– She says… “Kinato, you must go tomorrow. I am done trying to convince you. Sir Fremasto would be deeply disappointed if you don’t show up to his class. You need to show him that you are worthy of his attention!”… and she seemed rather angry. I don’t want to go and I am desperate.
– Who is Sir Fremasto?
– He is a very esteemed teacher, and someone my mother looked up to… but… Oh my… He was… abusing me… I can’t tell my mother… I just can’t… she would think I was making it up… to avoid going to class… because I told her previously that Sir Fremasto was mean… and she said that was not true, that he was very nice…
– And what is happening now?
– I am telling my mother that I will go see him tomorrow.
– What are you feeling?
– I feel… I feel like I betrayed myself… I feel like… I capitulated… I feel like I am just worthless… That nobody truly cared about me… and that I had to be… what they want me to be… I had to do as they say…
– Or else?
– Or else I will be punished.
– How were you usually punished?
– I… I was locked up in a room for a whole day… and night… without food… and just a bottle of water… No toys… no books… being told to reflect on what I did… I felt guilt… I felt defeated… I had to strive to do better… to become worthy… to build myself…
– Can you tell me, Kinato… whether you feel defeated for not performing up to par with expectations… or was it rather because you betrayed yourself…?
– I betrayed myself… yes, that is more painful. I am going against what I feel deep inside… I feel it was wrong for my mother to force me to go, and it was wrong for Sir Fremasto to molest me… and yet… I felt like my only worth is the approval I receive from those who take care of me. Without their care I can’t survive.
– Can you forgive yourself for this betrayal?
Deep sigh… slow exhale. And another one…
– Yes. Yes, I can forgive myself. I couldn’t have done anything differently. I am hugging my mom… and I am telling her that I will not disappoint anyone… I couldn’t have done anything differently… I’ve done my best… yes… I forgive myself…
– Do you feel this forgiveness…?
– Yes! It feels like… some heavy burden suddenly got lifted… but not in that way… more like a density… it got much lighter, less dense… and it feels liberating… like it is the first time I can move freely… it is amazing…
– I would like you to extend that liberating feeling into the present life… make it real… make it true… Do you feel it? You are free…
– I feel… yes… I feel light… I am light… and free…
– And tell me, Kinato… Do you still need anyone’s care to survive?
– Yes… I do…
– You do? Whose care would that be?
– I need my own care… I need… I need to care about myself…
– Yes, indeed, dear Kinato… Are you willing to take care of yourself? To see yourself as worthy of that care…?

Kinato took another deep breath. There was a long silence. Dahlia had all the patience in the world, and Luna could hardly believe what she was witnessing. She clenched her fists and rooted for him silently.
– I have no other choice… at this point… do I? – he finally said, his eyes still closed.
– Do you?
– I don’t think so… I am on my own…
– Do you trust yourself, Kinato?
– I would like to… but… sometimes I am being taken over… Something takes me over… and I do things I later regret…
– What is it that takes you over? Let’s go back to the time and place when it came over you for the first time. Let’s look at what it is. Intend to be then and there… you are reaching your destination… and looking around… what do you see?
– I see trees… lots of trees… and it’s very dark… but there is a warm light in the distance… and some bluish light from behind me… it’s illuminating the path… ahead…
– How old are you?
– Five… I’m just a small child…
– Who is with you? Who is illuminating the way?
– It’s my father… my mother is next to me… I don’t know where we are… I haven’t been in the forest at night before…
– Do you know why are you here now?
– I… I am very scared… I think we are going there because of me… there was something about me… that they wanted to change… I can’t explain, I can just feel it… And they are not doing it because they want to either… but they are afraid… that if they don’t do it… something bad would happen… my mom is holding my hand, I am stumbling in the dark… the roots… leaves… it’s all overgrown… I don’t know where we are, but it feels very scary… We arrive… we are at the source of warm light… it’s fire… a burning torch… and there is an older man next to it, holding a bowl and some metal utensil… with which he strikes the bowl slowly and rhythmically. I see… that there is a circle on the ground… around the fire… and we did not cross the line… we are staying few feet away… looking at the man… in silence… And now he notices us and raises his hand…. He is motioning us to come into the circle… it’s made of white powder… or crystals… could be salt… Wow… inside of the circle everything feels different… it’s as if there’s a whirlwind blowing right around this torch… which is in dead center… but it did not affect the fire… which burned as if there isn’t even the slightest breeze… Now my mother is pushing me forward… and the man places his hand on my head… and I felt… shivers… down the spine… He is looking into my eyes… His face is in the shadow, but his eyes are shining… he says something in a language I don’t understand… and then leans closer to my face… and now he is telling me… he is saying… “Feel the power and presence of Alussi… He is here… And he wants your blood…” I turn around looking for my parents… but they retreated outside of the circle… and seem so far away… And I can’t even call them… I am scared as never before… I feel abandoned… and I don’t know who is Alussi… and why he wants my blood… I am offered a bowl… There is something inside… but I can’t see, it is in the shadow… I look at man’s face… his eyes are shining… and above him something smokey is rising… covered with a moving pattern… black and white… it is morphing… and it is chilling… and now that thing… I feel it… I feel it as pure terror… it is pure horror and fear… completely evil… “If you give him some of your blood… he will leave you alone”… the man has said… He was in strange dark robe… with a hood… and a scarf… very light and flowing… and his eyes are glowing… his eyes… are looking straight at me… into me… they are piercing and entering into me… I cannot protect myself in any way… I am scared to death… There is a sharp pain… and I look down and see… my hand is bleeding… he sliced my palm… oh my… that’s why I have that scar… oh… and blood… it drips into a bowl… and… as it does… the fear… the apparition… and the energy of the place… is being reduced… The man is now… he says “you see, it wasn’t that hard?” He is striking the bowl again… with the metal instrument… and… chanting… and I can feel the whirlwind… picking up again… and getting stronger… and the horror… it is back… it is pure fear… and I cannot escape it… in any way… the man now looks at me… and I know… this time there is nothing I can do… to make it stop… the horror… it’s just there… and it’s taking me over… and… there is suddenly a knife in my hand… and I know… it doesn’t have to be my blood that will please Alussi… I… I rush forward and… I try to stab the man… and he is letting me cut his hairy arm… and I am only able to make a scratch… and a few drops of blood come out… along the red line… and then… the horror subsides… again… and it is quiet. “Good job”, the man says… I think he was there to help me… or at least, that was intention… but I feel like he took away something from me…

Deep sigh, and slow exhale.
– Keep going. What else can you sense?
– My parents… feel relieved… as if I passed some kind of a test… and gained something… that was important for me… to be able to function… in their circles… I think they killed my innocence… They allowed fear to posses me… maybe that was the evil spirit… but I see it as fear… perhaps personified by that smokey black and white apparition… and the feelings of horror… so dark… so terrifying… They want me to use it as an ally… it makes me evil too… I see… oh my… I was possessed my whole life, almost… since that day… Alussi… yes, it took a piece of me… and without it… I became able to… act like a psychopath… to be cruel… and… Oh god… It is so clear now… it is so… so evil… my parents were part of the cult… for sure… and you cannot be… part of high society… the influential class… the controllers… unless you have your conscience removed… or muted… when it could be in the way… of the plan… is this not… the most despicable thing…?
– What is your relationship now with Alussi? Has he been showing up recently?
– Yes… He was with me the entire time… while I was on masquerade ball… the human sacrifice… orgy event… some months ago… I was completely possessed… and that is why… I was able to do what I did… and so were the rest of the participants… There isn’t only Alussi present, but his whole team… they look very much alike… black and white patterns, moving across, rotating and morphing… the smokey apparitions… I can see it now… they are actually feeding on energy released through low vibration emotions… and becoming more powerful… the more suffering there is… and horror… they thrive on horror… and they reward us… by allowing us to control the masses, and masses of people… then feed them further… by living in fear… now I can clearly see that… what I do… has one purpose… and that’s to keep people in fear… ultimately… that is it in a nutshell…
– Kinato… I want you to find the contract you have with Alussi… can you do that? – Dahlia pitched in when it seemed like Kinato said all he had to say.
– A contract… An agreement?
– Yes. Ask the deepest parts of yourself… to reveal… the agreement.

Silence for a full minute. Finally, Kinato says:
– There is an agreement… a contract. I agreed to accept… fear… manifested as an entity, Alussi… to serve me… as a tool… to learn… To learn to trust… the tool to trust my inner self… Because… Alussi is the opposite of that… and it was necessary… for the personality I developed through the circumstances… of this life… to have such a teacher… and also protection… I believed… but now it is finally seen for what it is… not an ally but a parasite… yet useful… in a most convoluted way…
– Does it mean that this contract is now over? Is it possible to terminate it?
– Hmm… All I am getting is… that it will terminate itself… when it had served… its purpose…
– If that is so, there’s not much more we can do about it at this time… except look for the source of the fear…? Are you up to it?
– Let’s do it… I’m ready… – there was strong resolve in his voice, even though he spoke slowly and without any gesticulation or facial expressions that he would normally display. Even his face was completely relaxed.
– Alright… let’s do it… now… bring on the fear… feel it devour you… if you need to… invoke Alussi…
– No… he will want something… I do not… want to give him anything… I can bring on the fear just fine… oh god… yes… he is already here… feeding…
– Look for the source… where did it come from…?
– Uh… from nowhere… it just appeared…
– Let’s look for anything that came with it… a notion… idea… what makes you so afraid?
– Failure… annihilation… betrayal… the unknown…
– And what are those things…?
– Hmm… like you said… notions and ideas… thoughts that carry threat…
– Can they really affect you?

Kinato did not answer right away. His breathing was hardly noticeable.
– Well… it appears… it all appears in nothing… seen from here… and… well, I frankly can’t find what’s this me that they would affect… There is just a reaction to fear… like contraction… interaction of energies… as if all else is made up… and not truly… existing… in the same way that this void exists…
– Can you release this fear now… can you let it go?
– Not holding on to it… it’s just… receding… fading away…
– So tell me… next time if it shows up… uninvited… would you be able to see it as you’ve seen it today? And observe and feel it, until it fades away?
– That seems very doable… yes… but I can’t tell if the circumstances would suck me in to a degree that I can’t step back and see what is going on, like I can see now…
– That is the practice you need to undertake. Becoming a witness, not a doer or a thinker. Seeing like you see now, no matter what the situation. The hardest part is to remember to observe. To make it a habit, you may need to use reminders. If there is nothing else you wish to explore, we can end the session.
– Sounds good…
– Alright… slowly become aware of your body… try to wiggle your toes… move your fingers… then take control of your arms and shake them… and legs… slowly begin to sense the room… the couch you are laying on… the light from the lamp… as you slowly open your eyes… deep breath… slowly… and here you are!
– Holy fucking shit! – Kinato got up and stretched his arms, then rubbed his eyes and looked around in disbelief. – Pardon the language…
– Do you remember anything you’ve experienced? – Dahlia was curious.
– I do… some parts are a little hazy…
– Luna has the recording, so you can review it; it may help you remember.
– Thank you… thank you both… I am so grateful…
– How do you feel? – asked Luna.
– A little shaken… but good… and confused… and relieved… all at the same time. What an experience… I had completely blanked out those memories… I did not previously remember neither the night in the woods, nor the scene with mom. And now it seems there are more memories that have been tucked away for good. But very hazy and they are showing up as just glimpses and leave a trace of the feeling… Seems like just focusing on those hazy bits of memories is pulling me down… as if I’m in an elevator again.
– Yes, I think it would be wise that both of you learn to induce trance and work from there. I am confident Luna would be able to guide you, so the two of you could work together to get to the bottom of anything that comes up. Heck, you could even view the most probable future events, or get any information out of just about anywhere you can think of. The key is to dissociate from this reality, while remaining in communication. You should be able to feel when the desired level of trance is reached, so be intuitive about it and let the feeling guide you. Whatever feels right in any moment is the right action, and the sooner you can stop doubting it, the quicker you can get results. It’s a skill that can be learned and trained to a very high level. It’s a never-ending exploration of consciousness, of other dimensions of reality, of hidden realms buried within. This five sense reality is just a minuscule fraction of what can be experienced.
– Would that be the same as entering through the portals? A team of researchers is tackling those for the clan, you know… – Kinato didn’t care about keeping any secrets anymore. – And Luna got curious, however we never got to any of them to see for ourselves where would they take us… and is it safe?
– Depends on where you want to go. And it is not quite the same as trance, because you take body with you through the portal, while in trance you leave physical body behind and travel in your light body. Some of those portals can lead you to strange places, some have lots of negative entities hanging out, and when you go through some others, you may not be able to get back. But on the other hand, if you need to meet with someone in your physical body, then going there in trance won’t do much good, unless you have sufficient energy to partially materialize… some people can bilocate… but I’m not there yet. Meetings in light body on astral or other planes are also possible. So in that regard… what today technology is essentially doing is causing people to completely lose these skills and use computers to do the same things they’d be naturally able to do just in consciousness. You don’t need to go on the “net” to get the info, you can get it by proper focus and intention, and it will arrive in form of thoughts. But since humanity has strayed so far away from the use of natural abilities and instead switched to artificial, enslaving technology, it is a challenge for most to develop these skills, their etheric organs have mostly atrophied due to dormancy, and the main factor contributing to this disability to rely on inner senses, is the short attention span most people have, caused by bite sized information chunks thrown at us through media. Hardly anyone can focus on one thing for more than a few seconds at the time, that’s how bad it has gotten… and to stabilize in inner worlds, it is necessary to prevent attention from wandering and thoughts from intruding. It’s all part of old conspiracy to have all our souls captured and enslaved. Kinato knows all about it, don’t you, Kinato?
– Not all about it, but some of it, yes. I’ve participated wholeheartedly in implementing this system. I knew about the intentions, and I knew about the way it was being pushed onto the public through media. Media is my specialty. I was for a long time consultant in many productions, sometimes I was even put on the project to make sure that the intended messaging is coming through. Sometimes that would be in subtle ways, sometimes out in the open. For example, the whole popularization of drugs and promiscuous sex was there to demoralize the population and erode family values, so that people would cling to the power structure for support and develop dependence. Independent, self sufficient population is impossible to control. But today it’s near impossible to find. Everyone is dependent on food sold in the stores and restaurants, on energy provided by power companies, the money created and controlled by private bankers. We are way past the demoralization stage now; that was being implemented when I just started. The knowledge of the past has been lost, only select few people have access to the historical books and documents. There are so many psychological operations going on these days. I sometimes think that I’ll be burning in eternal fire for all the things I’ve done to contribute to creating this control grid. Now we have everyone’s data, we can spy on their private lives and use software to regulate the behavior. And people thought that the net and digital systems are great technological advancements…
– How do you feel about continuing your work after your experience? – asked Dahlia, passing no judgment.
– I’m not sure I can keep at it. I love the job and its creative aspects. But… it’s getting too weird. I’m more aware of the evil behind it all, that I… just can’t seem to take it as just a job.
– So is it a moral dilemma for you then? Or is it rather fear of unknown, fear of responsibility for your own life?

Kinato sighed. He wasn’t sure how to answer that. Surely, his job didn’t involve neither directly deceiving or harming anyone, but on the other hand his involvement was contributing to the construction of the control grid and even though he was well compensated and lived in luxury, he was also being controlled, since the top of the pyramid power structure was way above him.
– It’s like this… I was born into my role, trained for it, and did great in it. I didn’t think I could ever have done anything differently as far as my professional life is concerned. It was always a done deal. But since I joined the clan, I felt like I was dragged into situations, jobs, events… that I didn’t feel comfortable with. Since joining the clan, I got a step higher on the ladder, and that came with more responsibilities and obligations, as well as benefits. Now, I’ve never even tried to see myself as a good, decent, honorable man. My reputation was mostly reflecting my professional achievements, the jobs I’ve done, along with the management and maintenance of my wealth and the influence I had. Maybe the focus was on superficial because what was genuine was suppressed, or even severed and taken away. Alusi did take something away from me, I am sure of that much. I wouldn’t even know have I not had the session with you, Dahlia… But I am still uncertain what this genuine thing is…
– It isn’t a thing, my dear – said Dahlia with a faint smile. – It’s always in the moment, and reflected in the feeling. You could say that the core of you is the feeling and desire… the soul. Those are obscured by belief systems and endless stream of information being absorbed. So it is up to you to quiet that down and really listen… to realize what you really want. It is very likely that you’ve never known your true desire. I would go as far as to say that the only way anyone can reach their true potential is to act in accordance with dictates of the heart, because that’s the natural expression of the soul coming through. When you are operating in the world of ideas, concepts, ideologies, dogmatic beliefs and even science, it’s easy to make those ideas more real and more important than the quiet whispers of the heart. Does your heart crave recognition and luxury? Those are the things you need to look at. Recognition, after all, is only your idea about how others react to you. If they are acting favorably towards you because you are in a position of power and have a lot of money and influence, does that make it likely that they would be honest and genuine with you? Or is it more probable that they would interact with you for sake of personal, egotistic gain, whether that be making more money, getting a better position, being introduced to other powerful people, and so on? In such scenario, those people wouldn’t be interacting with you because they genuinely enjoy your company and want to share something of value with you. Thus, you end up with bunch of inauthentic, superficial relationships with people that don’t care about you.
– You are absolutely right – finally said Kinato, after pondering her words for a little while. – And not only that, but society is actively encouraging us to disregard all of our inner callings, and conform to the norms of society. I get it… we’re fucked as a species in these times, and have been going downhill in this regard for a long time.
– Indeed it is so – Dahlia nodded. – This change towards what is natural and genuine in us has to happen on individual level and out of true desire for self discovery, and if that desire didn’t light up in you, you wouldn’t be struggling about what to do. That would be dictated and accepted without question. It wouldn’t even occur to you that anything but that is possible. But this time around, you are questioning whether that is what you really want in life. That’s how you begin this journey. You make a step forward each time you ask yourself “Is it true?” or “Is this what I really want?” Just the simple act of asking the question will awaken the intuition, which resonates with truth. You will feel the truth as vibration in your bones, especially in shoulders. And your gut will also provide you valuable guidance. The greatest challenge is to build trust in your own guidance system, because your whole life you believed it was broken, unreliable, even evil. Get rid of those beliefs first and foremost.
– Yes, thank you, Dahlia. I will keep all that in mind. It’s just curious and interesting to me now… how come our whole lives here we’ve been fed nothing but lies. And to make it even worse, I directly participated without realizing how deep the deception goes. I even thought I was doing good things, can you imagine?! It was sold to us as progress, improvement, advancement… but what was advancing was only consolidation of power. I am sure the people in charge on levels above me would have no problem throwing me under the bus if I’m no longer needed or become a liability. But I still don’t see a way out.
– The way will present itself when you are ready to take it. Do not worry about getting there. Your task is to visualize the end result. Imagine and feel being already free. Break the contracts you do not wish to keep. Let go of limiting beliefs. Housecleaning is overdue, dear Kinato. You’ve stepped in this direction towards freedom and authenticity, and you have to keep going. Going back would be very difficult, if not impossible. What is seen can’t be unseen.

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